Communication barriers

Every made it through a conversation and then thought, "man, I wish I had said this to that person, oooohhhh, that would have been good."

So people here tend to keep talking to you in their foreign language, even after you say I don't speak that language...

Yesterday, on our way through Italy, we stopped at a gas station. Sparky tried to figure out how to make the gas pump work while I let the dogs out of the car to go pee-pee (after all, they'd been in the car for about 3 hrs).

Tiny gas station, nobody else there pumping gas except us, no store or anything, just 4 gas pumps.

I walk the dogs over to this little grassy area - an area that obviously had not been mowed in 1 to 3 months (picturing overgrown grass as high as my dog?)

Now I'm going to tell the story as if I had said what I wished I said...
This Italian man and wife in their station wagon pull up next to me and he starts looking at the dogs and speaking to me in Italian. Not knowing how to even say I don't speak Italian in Italian I just said, in a questioning tone, the all understood "English?"

He kept speaking Italian to me while pointing and looking at my dogs.
"What," I say, "you've buried your mistresses dead body in that grassy area and are now concerned that my dogs will dig her up?"
More Italian speaking and pointing at my dogs, this time with a very concerned, slightly annoyed look on his face.
"Don't worry" I say, "They couldn't possibly dig her up."
More Italian
"What, you burried her in a shallow grave? Well, now I can understand your concern"
More Italian, now tonge clicks as his head pivots side to side.
"Well, no worries, my dogs are done peeing, we'll leave now"
Famous Italian hand gestures while he's speaking Italian to me.
"No, no, don't worry about it, your secret is safe with me."
More Italian, I don't think he's getting the message here that I don't speak Italian
"Yes, thanks for remaining here parked directly behind my car and making sure I get the dogs loaded in the car properly, though you can stop looking at my ass now, I don't think that's very polite to do in front of your wife."

The beauty here is that when you encounter people who don't speak English, and continue to talk to you in their language, you can have whatever wild conversation with them you want...I'll have to play this game more often...it's fun...